Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Frontin' the gasian frontier

Here's the thing...
In my heart there is this deep sadness for my fellow queer asian brothers. I don't understand why you get discrimated upon in this community. The kids say the darndest things, like you don't have big man parts, that you are submissive, that you all practice Kung Fu, but I have one thing to say: sign me up for the Tokyo express. Recently I have joined the Panda Bandwagon and I've been riding recklessly with only a lapbelt.

It all started back when...
I remember it like it was yesterday. I had grown tired of my grown up "dating" websites, aka barebacking portals, and wanted to find true love. I, the baller on a budget that I am, went to the trusty FREE website OKCupid. (My asian brother, I realize that you enjoy saving a dollar; whether it be in a reduced tip or a shopping coupon, but your saving game has not gone unrecognized) Within a matter of days my website generated matches were mostly asian and this is when my mouth started watering for rice. I had realized that my eyes had been closed for so long to the wonder of the Orient. I knew that the next time I opened my eyes the only thing I would see was the wonderful color of yellow. (bad puns over)
I just knew I was playing the field. I had spoken with every Kim, Wang, Lo and Lee. All were smart. All were multi talented. All had everything I wanted. So I found one in particular to go on a date with-a face to face if you will...and me knowing the person you are, you will. It turned out to be, well very interesting. It redefined wang chung.
In this section I will do a compare and contrast.

Myths about G'Asians
G'asians can't drink...(false)
*Not only did he outdrink me but he challenged me to a game of beerpong with Sake*
G'asians are submissive...(false)
*After i got the rope from around my neck, and now that I can sit with ease: i can write with confidence-- F*@K what you heard. I still have to buy more Ben Gay!*
G'asians have small man parts...(...)

I am not afraid to jump feet first into the world of high fashion and slight eyes. I just know to be more prepared next time.