Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Skinny Bitch..you cold ain't you?

That's right I said it and i am not afraid! As summer sprints out of this bitch, Finter(fall+winter) is tightly on it's half clothed ass. I, a person who sometimes carry a little bit of weight about my hips and stomach, aka a big bitch, is proud to see that annoying ho leave. I am over the back sweat, the moist crotch and the constant circles of sweat underneath my arms. Just always warm. But now comes the time of year when the extra jiggle that wouldn't allow me to wear my racer back tank and my linen daisy dukes comes in handy. It keeps me warm, like a goose down comforter, like a hot sip of coffee going down your raw sore throat. Oh, my poor counterparts. You remember how you would take your tops off so slowly at the beach and I was in the corner slowly dying of heat stroke cause I had the moobies acebandaged and taped. Dear small frame, do you remember when you would rotate front to back making sure you got that all over tan and if i was brave enough that day to unleash the girls in public, i would lay on my stomach getting burnt on one side trying to front like I had it all together, creating this two toned ho-ho that was never quite right. Dear avoider of carbs, do you remember when you used to walk down the streets shirtless in basketball shorts and no drawers, well thank you for that one, hell I can't be mad at that at all. My point being, the sun is going away and now you're cold. Why are you gonna be cold? YOU HAVE NO BODY FAT!! HAHAHAHA! So if you catch a chill and you wanna snuggle up to something warm and nice, come see your boy! Theres enough love for all of us in the warmth of my embrace. The big boys are in season right now and I couldn't be happier.

Peacefully warm,
Plussize Twink

1 comment:

  1. Loquat is for cough and lung in Chinese medicine. Sometimes i would take the Ninjiom Pei Pa Koa which is an extract of loquat when got sore throat.

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